ashley gravett

Ashley Gravett is a writer, an activist, a lover, a dork, a brilliant star, a poet, a biker, a consumer of words, and a lover of all things rainbow. She has a degree in Spanish and is passionate about bilingual and multicultural education; as well as learning through experience, traveling, exploring, and story. She is a Co-Creator and the Admin Support Wizardess at Write In Power and expanding her barista skills and love of coffee at a local café.  She lives with her Love and is taking life in stride, one adventure at a time.

what does it mean to write from the body that is woman?

The heart flows all the way out through your fingertips she said knowingly

No wonder so much of my heart comes out through my pen

I smile the joyous smile that I feel from my face to my toes

The breath slow and steady, always there, but with intention and focus

I feel the replenishment of a deep breath through my nose fill my lungs and belly and more

I twist out some tightness in my back and every time it pops it is a subtle reminder that what I really need is for my sternum to be cracked wide open

to let out the flood of tears and words of strong, powerful voice

Voice that comes from deep breath that flows so easily in my body and expels fine with no sound

but today that voice is not choked off by fear

Fear of getting it wrong

Fear of not being enough

Fear of not being worthy of being heard

I will not let my mind close that valve, stop the vibrations of my being

I search for pause and know it is different from stopping or being stopped

A pause is intentional and allows for a breath to come and go for a moment with no sound

but intentional silence is full of gratitude

while broken noise just to fill the space is avoiding

Writing from this body that is woman

is feeling the pain that lives in memory

My body remembers being touched without permission, without consent

My body was taken over by foreign object that I did not allow

My mind encourages me to forget, leave behind, get over this trauma

but my body says remember and learn

I am reclaiming my body

which sometimes is even harder because I am not sure I ever claimed it before it was taken

Taken by the unwanted gazes of greedy men while I was still a child

Uncomfortable smile as if to beg to be left alone and not upset

To be the pleasing object

a pleasant piece

to be silent

while every curve was judged and gawked at

Writing from this body that is woman

means I feel the pain of my lineage

I can feel it in my blood

My body carries the memories of my mother and my grandmother and her mother before her.

And I know that they all had pieces of their bodies taken from them as well.

Did they ever speak out?

Did they ever reclaim themselves?

I don’t know…

but I know that it was a long time before I touched myself after he took what was not his

I cried hot tears of joy at the point of climax

Knowing this was the first step

find all of my body

The parts that feel good and the parts that carry so much pain

I have pain in my back from falling and sitting

It talks, pain talks, the body talks

But this voice of mine will be silent no more

“The quiet scares me cause it screams the truth” PINK sings. That it does.

Be quiet mind, stop spinning so

Stop trying to figure it all out.

Writing from this body that is woman

is writing in the 3rd person about a girl who woke up in a pile of her own vomit

in pain

scared and confused

Mind unable to comprehend, understand, admit what had happened to this body

Body needs to write

Heart says get a pen and put it to paper

Being woman and writing from this body

is rediscovering yoga,

a bike ride,

gentle loving touch from partner.

Being woman and writing from this body

is letting the excited, wild, guttural sound flow up my throat and out of my mouth with no filter.

It is an unforgiving sound that cannot be replicated by another,

for each woman has her own brilliantly, unique voice.

Being woman and writing from this body

is learning that my light can never dim the light of another

That my shine, my brightness, my brilliance can be there in all of its glory

and only when I claim it can I step into my power

When I feel dim it is because I have chosen to stand in someone else’s shadow

behind her rather than next to her

Writing from this body that is woman

is knowing that I am of the moon goddess

monthly cramps and blood remind me that my body carries the ability to create life

And my fingertips moving along remind me that I have the ability to create stories,

poems,

and entire worlds

Writing from this body that is woman

is knowing that many of the same internal muscles move when you laugh as when you cry.

That I have laughed tears and cried laughter

And what a beautiful phenomenon those two can be

together and independently

Writing form this body that is woman

is learning what tickles

the kiss of the wind on an ear

hair being blown just so across the neck

a single tear that leaves the eye to take a well-known or unknown path down the face

The comforts of a hot bath, tingling as you submerge and listen to the world muted by the water

Taking a moment to touch your own fruit that you are told is not for you

Finding the pleasure spots and what makes them swell and spurt

Because claiming your own pleasure is empowerment

It need not be left to another to fulfill

Sometimes it is just for me

No shame for existing just for me